my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
