I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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