I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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