I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
