Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
