it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
