How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We have started to decorate penises.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
