Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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