Define "chronic" masturbator.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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