our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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