Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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