It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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