Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
