i jhust puked up my retainher.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
