Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
