It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
