She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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