I wish I could teleport
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
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he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
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She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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