I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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