carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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