Already got asked if we're dating
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
