Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
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We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
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Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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