the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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