If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
