Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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