Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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