end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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