thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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