I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
jump out the window naked night went bad
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