U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize