I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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