i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
