i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
