we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
