I am puke
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize