Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
