Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
