I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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