Acid is not a monday night drug
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just had sex on a roof
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My ass is underappreciated
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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