you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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