please come you make the beer taste better
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
