the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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