I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Your dad touched me again.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
