Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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