My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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