I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Randomize
