A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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