im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize