I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Gay?
German.
Pity.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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