If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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