ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
