Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
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no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
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my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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