just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
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I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
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Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw