I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?