Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
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It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
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How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful