My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low