I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
