Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
