I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
