I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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